to get close to nature.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The service went on...
He considered the array of worthies who'd turned out for Angela. I've caused the death (non-deliberately, he stressed to himself) of somebody with her toes in many rivers.
Lately, the sewer-scribblers had served up an eye-witness account of George Douglas Grant from a time when stickysitu.com was a mere gleam in his eye; a dream not ready, yet, to get beyond the cheap and nasty plastic of his, then, faux-designer shades. In those days, according to the sleaze slopped out by The Moon, younger George would haunt his local healthshop for days on end. The witness remembered seeing GDG, on many occasions, running into the HealthyVibes store in the Minusrat district, beseeching:
'Got any Codeine!?'
The girl who had seen all this was Jane Gaynor (now, not really a girl at forty-two). She'd worked in FotoLand across the aisle from HealthyVibes and recalled seeing, no less than seven times, the healthshop's able-limbed young employee Josef ushering George, politely but firmly, off the premises (Josef maintained his rude good health through a diet high in Jerusalem artichoke-a small, yellowish, white-root vegetable, as everyone knows).
What The Moon had failed to tell but The Asteroid had plastered all over their front page was the lurid detail of Jane Gaynor's subsequent career as a porn actress. She'd dished her dirt to The Moon (that most venerable organ...not!) in return for a fix of morphine and a minor payment. It had become a major embarrassment to The Moon's editor when this side of Jane became know to the citizenry.
Bloody tabloids, thought Todd, and then paid heed once more to the mass at hand.
Lately, the sewer-scribblers had served up an eye-witness account of George Douglas Grant from a time when stickysitu.com was a mere gleam in his eye; a dream not ready, yet, to get beyond the cheap and nasty plastic of his, then, faux-designer shades. In those days, according to the sleaze slopped out by The Moon, younger George would haunt his local healthshop for days on end. The witness remembered seeing GDG, on many occasions, running into the HealthyVibes store in the Minusrat district, beseeching:
'Got any Codeine!?'
The girl who had seen all this was Jane Gaynor (now, not really a girl at forty-two). She'd worked in FotoLand across the aisle from HealthyVibes and recalled seeing, no less than seven times, the healthshop's able-limbed young employee Josef ushering George, politely but firmly, off the premises (Josef maintained his rude good health through a diet high in Jerusalem artichoke-a small, yellowish, white-root vegetable, as everyone knows).
What The Moon had failed to tell but The Asteroid had plastered all over their front page was the lurid detail of Jane Gaynor's subsequent career as a porn actress. She'd dished her dirt to The Moon (that most venerable organ...not!) in return for a fix of morphine and a minor payment. It had become a major embarrassment to The Moon's editor when this side of Jane became know to the citizenry.
Bloody tabloids, thought Todd, and then paid heed once more to the mass at hand.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The editors advised deletion.
Without wishing to dull your senses, reader, I will outline to you the contents of a doomed convict's last meal: fried chicken, two BLT sandwiches, enchiladas, ground beef, pork chops, tortillas, eggs, greenolives, butter beans and cabbage, broccoli with cheese sauce, fried onion rings, french fries, tomato, lettuce, cheese, a picante sauce, onions and jalapenos.
Whilst I'm not privy to a description of dessert, I'd imagine it's quite appetizing to judge from the main course.
'These are just the measures needed to tackle this fishy fraternity, this new McMafia.' offered officer Patch (a descendant of the selfsame Mr Patch of 1917).
Whilst I'm not privy to a description of dessert, I'd imagine it's quite appetizing to judge from the main course.
'These are just the measures needed to tackle this fishy fraternity, this new McMafia.' offered officer Patch (a descendant of the selfsame Mr Patch of 1917).
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Two members of the congregation
Fancy that, said Todd to himself, celebrity/notoriety allows one to take over entire church pews (along with all the other benefits fame/obloquy brings). Zak and Gaynor, their profile could not be any higher. Pictures of them flooded the internet. And offers to dish the latest dirt on Z an G were being spammed to web users from country to country. As Todd appraised it, the couple were about seven minutes into their fifteen of fame (or rather infamy). If the tales were to be believed, Zak spent more time in female clothing than in manly attire; and not merely sitting round watching TV in his girly glad rags, Mr Levi became quite active in drag.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
View from the pew
And, despite his crashing sense of guilt, Todd, too, was anticipating with eagerness the padre's impending 'few words'; anyone speaking well of the dead always lifted his mood.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Working it out
But, he reasoned, I was compelled to come here. A force beyond me drove me (and he wasn't referring to El Wheels, the cabdriver).
How did he look?
He wore the pained expression of a man who's just learned that his holiday home in Courtown has gone into negative equity.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Evaporation
Also, a cloud that had been above his head since hailing his cab - since Angela's death in fact - now vanished.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Morning thoughts
It wouldn't surprise him if he heard that Seb was an alcoholic, judging by the amount of photo-ops he grabbed at bars; large close-up shots of his mouth salivating at the sight of a jar. Only this morning, whilst engaging in his ablutions, T had heard mayor Cody on LIE (and across the web) praising police for their seizure of 50,000 Delirium tablets
'It's another victory over the evil drug barons.'
the mayor had spouted the cliched soundbite and in the same breath had raised a litre of poteen to his lips and praised its purity.
A truly awful apparatchik who'd risen up the ranks to become mayor, reflected T, loyal and crawling of the worst kind. He had stopped for a moment brushing his teeth and gazed into the LIE newsreader's face. He often wished that he could spike the food or drink of a po-faced newsreader just prior to their going on air; watch them collapse into a stoned heap live (well it would beat all the endless war footage). But T knew he was bordering on Eric's concept of 'cogitative crookedness' and was also alienating himself from anti-drug humans everywhere by entertaining such ideas; however, he entertained them nonetheless.
'It's another victory over the evil drug barons.'
the mayor had spouted the cliched soundbite and in the same breath had raised a litre of poteen to his lips and praised its purity.
A truly awful apparatchik who'd risen up the ranks to become mayor, reflected T, loyal and crawling of the worst kind. He had stopped for a moment brushing his teeth and gazed into the LIE newsreader's face. He often wished that he could spike the food or drink of a po-faced newsreader just prior to their going on air; watch them collapse into a stoned heap live (well it would beat all the endless war footage). But T knew he was bordering on Eric's concept of 'cogitative crookedness' and was also alienating himself from anti-drug humans everywhere by entertaining such ideas; however, he entertained them nonetheless.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Throw some light
He knows of a man with an ego bigger than Christianity. For the purpose of explanation please understand that this man is a member of The Body Control Association who are contactable on ???????, 24/7. This man is not in any way, manner or means to be confused with the inventor and operator of stickysitu.com, George Douglas Grant. Any resemblance between both men is accidental on the part of the author (who is...er...me!).
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The next page...
He heard soft applause and realized that some of the faithfully present were clapping. That's an odd note, he thought, and filed it under Funereal Unusualness.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Later in the story...
Seeing them all row upon row had reminded him of a bank vault at first and then for some reason a communal shower had sprung to mind. Oh dear. He thought of the gas shower from the Shoah; a separate drawer for each person's togs perhaps. Then the house where Angela was born appeared in his brain. He pictured it although he'd never been there nor seen any photographs-he just knew it was where she had first drank air.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
On his mind...
His questioning mind was at work as usual, querying if there was a difference between a rite and a mass; and what of transubstantiation, he wondered, as that mouthful word bounced back into his brain.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
More background
Todd could be a little hard on himself on occasion. Likewise, others found Todd a little hard at times. Maybe he set the bar too high in his hopes for his time in the world.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Some words on the law
Ole Zork had yet to enact the draconian statutes so prevalent in other municipalities re alcohol and tobacco. For that reason, Todd could go back on the cigarettes without the cabdriver blowing a gasket and shouting/quoting the names of acts and legislative numbers through the sliding glass hatch; a scene so ubiquitous in film, for example, that we've all witnessed it a thousand times: a driver bellowing into a cab's cavernous back area 'Put out that cigarette you filthy animal! You're in direct contravention of the Tobacco Banishment Act, 1997 - subsection VII as it pertains to trains, taxis, buses and planes!'
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Blithely pondering
Todd's mind tended to drift like so much wood down a deep, dark river. He thought of funerals; how they were, in fact, a bit like omnibuses. You waited an age for one and several came along at once.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
A little background
In the city of Ole Zork my antecedents got drunk on Victory gin and chewed Victory pie amongst blitzed brick buildings.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
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